Boyfriends mom died and he's being a jerk to me?

Stop trying to "help" him and give him some time to sort through his feelings. He sounds a little mentally scrambled right now. Was he close to his mother? Does he feel regret for not being there? How did she feel about you? Back off him a bit, don't mention his mother or any kind of recent change. Wait for him to bring it up. Before you jump in and show him all these great ideas, ask him if he wants your opinion. Make him feel like its HIS idea, and not something that your pushing on him (not saying you are, but from all his "pressuring" remarks, he may feel this way). Just say to him, "well, why don't you think it over, and when you come up with something, we'll sit down and talk about it". Yes, he's acting like a boob right now, but, then again, his mother is barely in the ground (LOL). Give him some space and time to get back to normal.